Some time ago, I've opened up to and got disappointed by a person who felt OK with opening up to and got disappointed by another person. Neither me nor that person have seen it coming.
My best friend has a microwave oven called "Candy". So do all the kitchens inside a few dormitories my faculty owns.
I went driving the other day and, when I was driving past the church entrance, The God that failed burst out of the speakers inside the car. Funny, considering my background :-).
While on my way home, I've found out that Never enough is Never enough indeed. Two different perspectives, on a shuffled playlist, with zero manual intervention, out of a few hundred songs...
That's about it on this topic for today. I don't consider they have any significance whatsoever.
"In the end we're all just chalk lines on the concrete, Drawn only to be washed away."
Cheers!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Emotional dyslexia
I guess that's what we tend to see so often out there, around us, today. We get pounded with "what do you like? what do you get pleasure out of?" and whatnot? so... we become emotionally blind to those in front of us. Should the way each of us transposes their feelings into actions, attitudes and vibrations (be it word, be it touch or simple gestures) be considered a form of written communication, most of those I know are practically dyslexic.
What concerns me most, however, is that a lot of the same folks I know gradually develop a more and more potent form of alexia... like... when someone breaks your trust and turns the one you were into a defiled form of your own self? And then you hear people "no, you can't feel something, anything just like that, for anyone!" - then, I wonder, how the fuck can one plummet from a decent person into a cold hearted humanoid? I mean... if that's possible - and we all know it is, since we've seen it with our own eyes, most likely - why isn't the opposite allowed to happen? Ah, no, wait... it takes time to build, right... :-) It takes mere instants to obliterate, however.
All those days we spend waiting won't come back, just as the title song claims, for time is no boomerang to turn tail and run back into our arms. Would've been nice, though. :-)
Is it perfection or vanity to be able to lie to ourselves and talk ourselves into whatever we feel like becoming? I don't know and I don't really care... or that's what I'm trying to talk myself into. I can barely spot a few glimpses of success, however.
What concerns me most, however, is that a lot of the same folks I know gradually develop a more and more potent form of alexia... like... when someone breaks your trust and turns the one you were into a defiled form of your own self? And then you hear people "no, you can't feel something, anything just like that, for anyone!" - then, I wonder, how the fuck can one plummet from a decent person into a cold hearted humanoid? I mean... if that's possible - and we all know it is, since we've seen it with our own eyes, most likely - why isn't the opposite allowed to happen? Ah, no, wait... it takes time to build, right... :-) It takes mere instants to obliterate, however.
All those days we spend waiting won't come back, just as the title song claims, for time is no boomerang to turn tail and run back into our arms. Would've been nice, though. :-)
Is it perfection or vanity to be able to lie to ourselves and talk ourselves into whatever we feel like becoming? I don't know and I don't really care... or that's what I'm trying to talk myself into. I can barely spot a few glimpses of success, however.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
May rant - 'crazy nice'
I guess love in its early stages tastes like May cherries. Indeed, who asked for my opinion but... why do people have blogs anyway? :-)
Neither sour as green cherries, nor sweet as those blood-red cherries one can indulge upon during June, but fresh and somewhat juicy. Just like an almost ripened cherry, flooding your senses with its sweet, then mildly sour parts.
How would it be like, past the month of May, one would wonder...
Neither sour as green cherries, nor sweet as those blood-red cherries one can indulge upon during June, but fresh and somewhat juicy. Just like an almost ripened cherry, flooding your senses with its sweet, then mildly sour parts.
How would it be like, past the month of May, one would wonder...
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Just a little bit longer
Took part to an interesting event on Friday evening. It's been much more pleasant thanks to the company I was fortunate enough to enjoy. I've never really thought atmosphere may be mimed. However, I was proven wrong during that event. It's really flabbergasting how a couple (well, 5 couples) of fingers may direct, diverge, determine and dose the vibrations in the air so that they all contract, expand yet fit snuggly all together right inside your mind.
Think of a metal worker, casting a fragile steel filigree. No, you're not there yet. This mime has only thin air to work with and no mold for his work. Moreover, after all his work, there's nothing left of it. Nothing, if you discard the applause one gets after such a performance.
Man, I got such an unhealthy life style... 6PM at work, 7PM at the concert. 9:30PM strolling in the park, 10PM got home... walked all the way to my place. Pretty neat, considering it was the second time I think when I do that at night. Recently, I began skipping the bus and taking a walk back home from work. Same shit - as far as time span is concerned. I only hope I don't get a lot of rain going on. And I really must minimize whatever I carry along with me, otherwise my back is gonna get toast.
I keep on going back and forth between the two perspectives the song in the title of this post and this one present... "Just a little bit longer"... I ought to sleep just a little bit longer! that's what I should be pondering on... :-) But... I don't want to talk about it.
Good luck and good hunting!
Think of a metal worker, casting a fragile steel filigree. No, you're not there yet. This mime has only thin air to work with and no mold for his work. Moreover, after all his work, there's nothing left of it. Nothing, if you discard the applause one gets after such a performance.
Man, I got such an unhealthy life style... 6PM at work, 7PM at the concert. 9:30PM strolling in the park, 10PM got home... walked all the way to my place. Pretty neat, considering it was the second time I think when I do that at night. Recently, I began skipping the bus and taking a walk back home from work. Same shit - as far as time span is concerned. I only hope I don't get a lot of rain going on. And I really must minimize whatever I carry along with me, otherwise my back is gonna get toast.
I keep on going back and forth between the two perspectives the song in the title of this post and this one present... "Just a little bit longer"... I ought to sleep just a little bit longer! that's what I should be pondering on... :-) But... I don't want to talk about it.
Good luck and good hunting!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
To the pits of Chaos and back
Rainbow, greenschist, pink, canal lock = light bulb falls, caraway.
It's kind of fun to nearly miss your train and turn a nice getaway into a shitty weekend. But I've only brushed off that scenario, thus on Saturday I've enlisted for a military style insertion with the morning train and an extraction, 28hours later, with the afternoon train. Destination? The current land of freedom (for the mad), of space (for the shy exuberant introverted) and of dreams (for all the lunatics, drug fans and booze masters) "Ancient Customs" =)) / "Vama Veche". I don't like the place, it's like "let's go back a few steps down the evolution chain, maybe we can find the missing link somewhere, being conceived amidst the bottles, condoms, garbage, tents and cars"... Chances are the missing link is still there, dead drunk, half buried beneath the beach sand. And I bet it hasn't changed that much over the years. :-)
Mime is fun. Up to a certain amount. Like, once a year in a really extensive degree. :-x And as long as you don't get silly, simple words. Stuff like greenschist or caraway - now that's something to really sink your hands into, so to speak! :-))
The funny side: mime brought up the highlights of the trip, before they occurred. A rainbow of characters, people and clothing, faces, sounds and smiles (burps too!) all over, that's what we got when we finally arrived to the LZ. And when you thought you'd be safe, in a space where people refrain from stealing your ass off - as lots are metal or punk lovers, there you go, lots of pitzy pink! :-O!!! Even the green-stone found its place in our activity - going down the beach, scouring for shells and nifty stuff. Even though it was nothing than algae-covered rock, it was a green stone nonetheless! :-P
And to the disappointment of lots of fans, the light bulb falls effect manifested during a concert. We're still waiting for the caraway, but who knows? :-P
Sometimes, you need to go down to a basic level and then try to remember why do you still keep the "elevated" features you gave up to, in order to come back to basics. For some, Vama is the Paradise on Earth. For me it's actual Hell, land of Chaos, stripping me of hygiene, moral, safety, boundaries. It's a double edged keen blade one plays with when venturing there, for within the Land of No Rules, lady Luck is the only one keeping you off the harm's way. And we all know how treacherous and frivolous lady Luck can get on you, every now and then. :-) All in all, it's cool to see the world from a different perspective. It's not cool to pay for a pit stop, even stand in line for such a basic service, not to mention being mauled from your backside when attending a good concert, just because a mountain of cortex-free flesh and lard finds pogo cool when drunk.
For some, freedom is to walk around drunk, shouting "Got condom, looking for vagina" (why do I get that "LF Enchanter, Got mats" -Looking For; materials- sensation from reading the W.o.W. chat console?)... For me it's having my own intact space, a square foot of dirt on which I can rely in order to take a leap forward the outer region, the one where I interact with all those around me. The fun side of any leap is that any direction is "forward". You only need to remember that every race is made of individual steps, as every panoramic image is made of tiny details. Keeping it simple keeps it genuine. :-) It always does.
Next time... it will be better... :-) I'll make sure it will.
Good luck and good hunting!
It's kind of fun to nearly miss your train and turn a nice getaway into a shitty weekend. But I've only brushed off that scenario, thus on Saturday I've enlisted for a military style insertion with the morning train and an extraction, 28hours later, with the afternoon train. Destination? The current land of freedom (for the mad), of space (for the shy exuberant introverted) and of dreams (for all the lunatics, drug fans and booze masters) "Ancient Customs" =)) / "Vama Veche". I don't like the place, it's like "let's go back a few steps down the evolution chain, maybe we can find the missing link somewhere, being conceived amidst the bottles, condoms, garbage, tents and cars"... Chances are the missing link is still there, dead drunk, half buried beneath the beach sand. And I bet it hasn't changed that much over the years. :-)
Mime is fun. Up to a certain amount. Like, once a year in a really extensive degree. :-x And as long as you don't get silly, simple words. Stuff like greenschist or caraway - now that's something to really sink your hands into, so to speak! :-))
The funny side: mime brought up the highlights of the trip, before they occurred. A rainbow of characters, people and clothing, faces, sounds and smiles (burps too!) all over, that's what we got when we finally arrived to the LZ. And when you thought you'd be safe, in a space where people refrain from stealing your ass off - as lots are metal or punk lovers, there you go, lots of pitzy pink! :-O!!! Even the green-stone found its place in our activity - going down the beach, scouring for shells and nifty stuff. Even though it was nothing than algae-covered rock, it was a green stone nonetheless! :-P
And to the disappointment of lots of fans, the light bulb falls effect manifested during a concert. We're still waiting for the caraway, but who knows? :-P
Sometimes, you need to go down to a basic level and then try to remember why do you still keep the "elevated" features you gave up to, in order to come back to basics. For some, Vama is the Paradise on Earth. For me it's actual Hell, land of Chaos, stripping me of hygiene, moral, safety, boundaries. It's a double edged keen blade one plays with when venturing there, for within the Land of No Rules, lady Luck is the only one keeping you off the harm's way. And we all know how treacherous and frivolous lady Luck can get on you, every now and then. :-) All in all, it's cool to see the world from a different perspective. It's not cool to pay for a pit stop, even stand in line for such a basic service, not to mention being mauled from your backside when attending a good concert, just because a mountain of cortex-free flesh and lard finds pogo cool when drunk.
For some, freedom is to walk around drunk, shouting "Got condom, looking for vagina" (why do I get that "LF Enchanter, Got mats" -Looking For; materials- sensation from reading the W.o.W. chat console?)... For me it's having my own intact space, a square foot of dirt on which I can rely in order to take a leap forward the outer region, the one where I interact with all those around me. The fun side of any leap is that any direction is "forward". You only need to remember that every race is made of individual steps, as every panoramic image is made of tiny details. Keeping it simple keeps it genuine. :-) It always does.
Next time... it will be better... :-) I'll make sure it will.
Good luck and good hunting!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
"Breath out...
... so I can breath you in... Hold you in..."
The Merlot is gone, I got chills running up and down my spine. Crunching on some Nesquick cereal cocoa marbles. Tiny jawbreakers if you want to call them that way. (^_^) Gonna get some Coke...
Dreams... hmm...
The Merlot is gone, I got chills running up and down my spine. Crunching on some Nesquick cereal cocoa marbles. Tiny jawbreakers if you want to call them that way. (^_^) Gonna get some Coke...
Dreams... hmm...
Sunday, April 18, 2010
People
I was having this chat with a friend last night and it struck me: people facing a relationship are like envelopes and stamps. Each one of them is the envelope, while the other one is the stamp.
That envelope if filled with hopes, dreams, virtues and flaws. In order to get a good bond, however, the envelope must be clean enough on its exterior, so the stamp may adhere to. On the stamp side, it must have a decent, evenly distributed layer of glue.
Now, that's the passive side of things... As we all know - those enough fortunate of us to know how an envelope & a stamp look & feels like - the glue needs to be prepared so as to activate and adhere to the envelope. It must be hydrated so it activates - and that, in an even & balanced manner.
Meh... details... analogies... all in vane, in the end, should either part not want to become compatible with the other one, toward that common goal - the bond.
Rant over, too much text for one day. :-)
Good luck and good hunting!
That envelope if filled with hopes, dreams, virtues and flaws. In order to get a good bond, however, the envelope must be clean enough on its exterior, so the stamp may adhere to. On the stamp side, it must have a decent, evenly distributed layer of glue.
Now, that's the passive side of things... As we all know - those enough fortunate of us to know how an envelope & a stamp look & feels like - the glue needs to be prepared so as to activate and adhere to the envelope. It must be hydrated so it activates - and that, in an even & balanced manner.
Meh... details... analogies... all in vane, in the end, should either part not want to become compatible with the other one, toward that common goal - the bond.
Rant over, too much text for one day. :-)
Good luck and good hunting!
Superhuman powers
We all have them. Keep the trust issue at hand, from my previous post.
We're living in a perverted world, where one must first prove their innocence before being able to prove their virtues. We thus start in a "negative self" position and we need to put ourselves on the line so we can prove we're harmless to those around us. It usually exhausts one, chews their energy right off - this sort of effort. But since nobody cares about anyone else than themselves (at least as the society we live in today teaches us to behave), that effort goes unnoticed. Peachy.
Now comes the nifty part - so we're harmless, but why would that alone be enough for the other one so that they'd like to have us around them? Well - no reason at all. Therefore, one must now push on and prove they deserve attention. But guess what? all your energy got sucked into the perverted "prove yourself innocent" process. Most of us don't really give a dead cow's ass about it, thus once exhausted, sayonara and a good nap to ya!
How about those who do care, though? What about their effort? What about their torment? Nobody cares, but they are the superhuman beings once they push themselves over that limit. That fringe is all that makes us more than human. It's not a reason to believe one is a lot more than those around them - since they're nothing other than limited human beings, anyhow - but it's enough for one to feel at least OK with themselves.
Too bad most of us chose to remain blind, comfortable within the cushions of the fuzzy fake universe-like construct the society we live in builds around us with each detail we notice from outside (ads, products, shimmering clothes and whatnot?)...
It's a lose-lose situation.
We're living in a perverted world, where one must first prove their innocence before being able to prove their virtues. We thus start in a "negative self" position and we need to put ourselves on the line so we can prove we're harmless to those around us. It usually exhausts one, chews their energy right off - this sort of effort. But since nobody cares about anyone else than themselves (at least as the society we live in today teaches us to behave), that effort goes unnoticed. Peachy.
Now comes the nifty part - so we're harmless, but why would that alone be enough for the other one so that they'd like to have us around them? Well - no reason at all. Therefore, one must now push on and prove they deserve attention. But guess what? all your energy got sucked into the perverted "prove yourself innocent" process. Most of us don't really give a dead cow's ass about it, thus once exhausted, sayonara and a good nap to ya!
How about those who do care, though? What about their effort? What about their torment? Nobody cares, but they are the superhuman beings once they push themselves over that limit. That fringe is all that makes us more than human. It's not a reason to believe one is a lot more than those around them - since they're nothing other than limited human beings, anyhow - but it's enough for one to feel at least OK with themselves.
Too bad most of us chose to remain blind, comfortable within the cushions of the fuzzy fake universe-like construct the society we live in builds around us with each detail we notice from outside (ads, products, shimmering clothes and whatnot?)...
It's a lose-lose situation.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Trust
I was looking around me on my daily trip a few days ago and I've noticed a young mother wither her children, twin girls. The usual scenario - mount the vehicle, then the driver floors it and everyone has that split second when it's secure or stumble for each of the passengers not located on any of the available seats. The only thing about this case was that she had both her hands occupied with each of her girls. (Bus drivers ought to pay attention to their passengers. Nobody is a potato bag or such...)
Taking a few steps toward a set of seats, an elder man got off the seat he was on to allow the two girls to seat one next to the other, then he started acting - normally and perfectly logical - as a grandfather to them. Chit chat, questions, smiles, all that stuff. The mother was OK with it, too.
I was then thinking of those times when I was reading about how one should raise their child: "don't talk to any stranger!" and all that. The world we live on would have turned the situation I was watching unfold right before me like some sort of a trade: the man offered his seat to one of the girls, thus the mother (as legal caretaker of the minor) was in his debt - debt which was now payed by extending her tolerance enough to allow the elder person to behave as a grandfather. It's not over analysis, it's a mere hypothesis, with its arguments along.
But that's just... cold. Like, ice cold. I have attended the baptism of a boy today, the son of a close team member from my first workplace. The ceremony was neat, the parents were so happy and so serene, despite all the noise and tension the process implies. Even the little one was quiet, despite all the fuss and hassle around him. It was his prime time, nonetheless, so why worry, right? :-) The priest spoke to all those present, to the end of the ceremony. "God did not create us so as to roam this world alone. In order for that to happen, however, we need to trust each other."
I was at that moment watching the little fellow crossing the boundary between pagan and Christian and I was reflecting on what the priest was telling us. We are cast into this world with an unconditioned trust and love toward our caretaker(s). However, once we begin figuring out how we can provide for ourselves, our trust is progressively defiled till it's turned into a form of taking products and services for granted from others, not necessarily close to us. We take for granted all that which we can buy.
That's not to be accused for, nonetheless. Nevertheless, it's a real shame one has lost the will to trust those around them and, moreover, it's a petty the society we build with each of our attitudes and actions makes no room for this trust. The world we live in is getting colder and colder, as the time moves on further away from us, despite all the global warming we witness. And, just as we make no room for other creatures on this planet with all sorts of direct and indirect actions and their consequences, we make no room for trust to build up.
It's a terrible world we're building.
Taking a few steps toward a set of seats, an elder man got off the seat he was on to allow the two girls to seat one next to the other, then he started acting - normally and perfectly logical - as a grandfather to them. Chit chat, questions, smiles, all that stuff. The mother was OK with it, too.
I was then thinking of those times when I was reading about how one should raise their child: "don't talk to any stranger!" and all that. The world we live on would have turned the situation I was watching unfold right before me like some sort of a trade: the man offered his seat to one of the girls, thus the mother (as legal caretaker of the minor) was in his debt - debt which was now payed by extending her tolerance enough to allow the elder person to behave as a grandfather. It's not over analysis, it's a mere hypothesis, with its arguments along.
But that's just... cold. Like, ice cold. I have attended the baptism of a boy today, the son of a close team member from my first workplace. The ceremony was neat, the parents were so happy and so serene, despite all the noise and tension the process implies. Even the little one was quiet, despite all the fuss and hassle around him. It was his prime time, nonetheless, so why worry, right? :-) The priest spoke to all those present, to the end of the ceremony. "God did not create us so as to roam this world alone. In order for that to happen, however, we need to trust each other."
I was at that moment watching the little fellow crossing the boundary between pagan and Christian and I was reflecting on what the priest was telling us. We are cast into this world with an unconditioned trust and love toward our caretaker(s). However, once we begin figuring out how we can provide for ourselves, our trust is progressively defiled till it's turned into a form of taking products and services for granted from others, not necessarily close to us. We take for granted all that which we can buy.
That's not to be accused for, nonetheless. Nevertheless, it's a real shame one has lost the will to trust those around them and, moreover, it's a petty the society we build with each of our attitudes and actions makes no room for this trust. The world we live in is getting colder and colder, as the time moves on further away from us, despite all the global warming we witness. And, just as we make no room for other creatures on this planet with all sorts of direct and indirect actions and their consequences, we make no room for trust to build up.
It's a terrible world we're building.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
The Bumblebee syndrome
No, it's not a guitar stand[1]. At least, that's not the case analyzed by this post. :-)
You must have had at least one occasion when someone you knew chose to display a song as their mood or their attitude toward something you've done. It's so much easier to make use of this subterfuge rather than speak for themselves. I suppose it's the lack of self confidence and strength that motivate one into doing something like this. For there is no whole song lyrics to really represent all you feel, sense, mean or think. Yet they do it and when that happens, they cast a shroud of uncertainty and confusion around them, ethereal from their perspective yet opaque from outside. One senses that something is not right, yet when asked, they will just lock up and will not provide a reasonable answer, or they'll claim those are not their words, but mere lyrics. Call it paranoia if you like, yet consider the case of a so called Passive Aggressive individual, although I totally despise labels.
It's a blow to their very self, since not confronting their demons only strengthens their weaknesses and halts them in their self development. The worst case is a person whom indulges her/him -self into this situation and doesn't really show any interest into crawling out of it. I suppose it's easier for the organism to keep on bleeding and therefor weaken as time goes by, instead of mobilizing the metabolism into healing mode.
The name comes from a cute Autobot[2], which makes a nifty example for how this syndrome manifests[3].
Essential trait...
* Cowardice. Here's a definition for it. As a quote there claims:
"I cannot do this. This is too much for me. I shall ruin myself if I take this risk. I cannot take the leap, it's impossible. All of me will be gone if I do this, and I cling to myself'" [J.N.Figgis]
I keep hearing those words, same form or another... It is probably true and most likely that is indeed what's inside their mind and heart, but that attitude only stalls a person's development. All I can suggest is an attempt to get out of the trench one is in and move on. "Grow up or die", as Bill Maher states in Religulous. Only considered as a logical statement, that's exactly what happens anyway, one will eventually grow up out of the self they clang to for so long or die, once their time is up. My only issue is this: why wait? You know what waiting means (see my blog description).
OR I am wrong about everything. It's all about the perspective, in the end, so... Maybe I am totally off the course. Perhaps I really don't deserve to have my opinions known by the others around me. :-)
Good luck and good hunting!
Theme song...
* Video
Should you have not known about...
1. Ultimate Support Guitar Stand
2. Original character
3. Syndrome symptom showcase
You must have had at least one occasion when someone you knew chose to display a song as their mood or their attitude toward something you've done. It's so much easier to make use of this subterfuge rather than speak for themselves. I suppose it's the lack of self confidence and strength that motivate one into doing something like this. For there is no whole song lyrics to really represent all you feel, sense, mean or think. Yet they do it and when that happens, they cast a shroud of uncertainty and confusion around them, ethereal from their perspective yet opaque from outside. One senses that something is not right, yet when asked, they will just lock up and will not provide a reasonable answer, or they'll claim those are not their words, but mere lyrics. Call it paranoia if you like, yet consider the case of a so called Passive Aggressive individual, although I totally despise labels.
It's a blow to their very self, since not confronting their demons only strengthens their weaknesses and halts them in their self development. The worst case is a person whom indulges her/him -self into this situation and doesn't really show any interest into crawling out of it. I suppose it's easier for the organism to keep on bleeding and therefor weaken as time goes by, instead of mobilizing the metabolism into healing mode.
The name comes from a cute Autobot[2], which makes a nifty example for how this syndrome manifests[3].
Essential trait...
* Cowardice. Here's a definition for it. As a quote there claims:
"I cannot do this. This is too much for me. I shall ruin myself if I take this risk. I cannot take the leap, it's impossible. All of me will be gone if I do this, and I cling to myself'" [J.N.Figgis]
I keep hearing those words, same form or another... It is probably true and most likely that is indeed what's inside their mind and heart, but that attitude only stalls a person's development. All I can suggest is an attempt to get out of the trench one is in and move on. "Grow up or die", as Bill Maher states in Religulous. Only considered as a logical statement, that's exactly what happens anyway, one will eventually grow up out of the self they clang to for so long or die, once their time is up. My only issue is this: why wait? You know what waiting means (see my blog description).
OR I am wrong about everything. It's all about the perspective, in the end, so... Maybe I am totally off the course. Perhaps I really don't deserve to have my opinions known by the others around me. :-)
Good luck and good hunting!
Theme song...
* Video
Should you have not known about...
1. Ultimate Support Guitar Stand
2. Original character
3. Syndrome symptom showcase
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Yank me
Saturday rant
If you are not aware of the average value for human cells division, please, avoid this blog and whatever social network profile you got here from - or do a bit of research; since you're reading this, the Internet is right at your fingertips so why not move 'em and use it toward your knowledge? If you don't know that much about yourself, why bother trying to unravel me? It's absurd. :-)
If the first paragraph convinced you that human cells only divide for a given amount of times, please know you're wrong. If you don't know what HeLa stands for, do some research or avoid this blog. :-) It's not necessarily relevant to life, but what if you met an alien and (s)he asks you this simple question: do you divide forever or for a while? ;-)
If you check your mouse, looking for an extra button when you hear "bubble click" instead of throwing a giggle or putting on a nice little smile, go sell that mouse and buy yourself some humor, then return to this blog. :-)
If you can't control yourself and if you're only willing to do whatever you want, understand that those who live by the sword, die by the sword. Attempt to want to control your inner animal and try to only claw and rake at those whom really threaten your integrity, not just anyone coming along your path. For not anyone is a threat and maybe some of those you wreck mental & emotional havoc upon, just maybe a few of those do care about you in a way you can't figure out. Once you've achieved that, tag along me and let's discuss. What? The world entire, why not?
Our bodies are designed to self destruct at some given point in time. If I live to my 66th birthday, I still got left around 1 636 363 636 heart beats. And one more, while you read this. So instead of tampering with my pulse and stealing the ticks of my tiny clock, either try to tune our clocks and see what can we achieve together, replenishing each other's ticks, or spare yourself the hassle and listen to your own tick-tock by yourself. Alas, music sounds better when you listen to it on your own... not.
We each have a whole life behind us. It takes yet another life to intimately know the life behind the other one. Instead of wasting another life trying to get to know me, let's take a leap of faith towards tomorrow and see what happens next. One only needs to see where one is heading so they may take the leap... tomorrow is a spot pretty interesting and good enough for me, for today is already behind us and tomorrow is just a couple of heartbeats away.
I'm not here to offer answers. I'm here to raise questions and grant alternatives. If you got this far reading this post, what's on your mind? Why not get in touch with you and me? Fear keeps one alive, when fear has a reason to exist. Otherwise, it slowly serves one a cunning death, one spoon at a time.
Started this on Saturday... it still feels the work of a mad man.
If the first paragraph convinced you that human cells only divide for a given amount of times, please know you're wrong. If you don't know what HeLa stands for, do some research or avoid this blog. :-) It's not necessarily relevant to life, but what if you met an alien and (s)he asks you this simple question: do you divide forever or for a while? ;-)
If you check your mouse, looking for an extra button when you hear "bubble click" instead of throwing a giggle or putting on a nice little smile, go sell that mouse and buy yourself some humor, then return to this blog. :-)
If you can't control yourself and if you're only willing to do whatever you want, understand that those who live by the sword, die by the sword. Attempt to want to control your inner animal and try to only claw and rake at those whom really threaten your integrity, not just anyone coming along your path. For not anyone is a threat and maybe some of those you wreck mental & emotional havoc upon, just maybe a few of those do care about you in a way you can't figure out. Once you've achieved that, tag along me and let's discuss. What? The world entire, why not?
Our bodies are designed to self destruct at some given point in time. If I live to my 66th birthday, I still got left around 1 636 363 636 heart beats. And one more, while you read this. So instead of tampering with my pulse and stealing the ticks of my tiny clock, either try to tune our clocks and see what can we achieve together, replenishing each other's ticks, or spare yourself the hassle and listen to your own tick-tock by yourself. Alas, music sounds better when you listen to it on your own... not.
We each have a whole life behind us. It takes yet another life to intimately know the life behind the other one. Instead of wasting another life trying to get to know me, let's take a leap of faith towards tomorrow and see what happens next. One only needs to see where one is heading so they may take the leap... tomorrow is a spot pretty interesting and good enough for me, for today is already behind us and tomorrow is just a couple of heartbeats away.
I'm not here to offer answers. I'm here to raise questions and grant alternatives. If you got this far reading this post, what's on your mind? Why not get in touch with you and me? Fear keeps one alive, when fear has a reason to exist. Otherwise, it slowly serves one a cunning death, one spoon at a time.
Started this on Saturday... it still feels the work of a mad man.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Wednesday rant
I love this song... Really crazy about it. :-x
Cherry blossom; exercise; sun; smile; singing; grin; hug; black; cross; wait; think; wonder; attempt; return; mount; sway; jolt; ponder; answer; hope; descend; walk; expect; cross to the other side; gaze; lean; remember; gulp; smell; daydream; step; hope.
Came across this short-hair-cut guy, wearing a green t-shirt, having "Sex without love is just exercise" across his chest. Made me think a bit about it and, while I was walking with the scent of the cherry trees all around me, I walked down my path toward home. Thanks to the big smile and a hug from a cute person, I was able to actually notice a few birds singing amidst the cherry trees. Black, velvet-like coat. Cute :-)
Back on my path, the light was right so I crossed, backwards, looking after a bus. Waiting there, I've noticed a cab driver pushing by himself his cab. All alone. I thought I'd walk the 100m to him and give a hand, despite him being a gypsy or any other reason. I've wondered what if I'd miss the bus by doing so. I took a few steps toward him, when a couple of other gypsy teenagers parted from the armchair they were moving in a garbage bin and gave him a pair of helping hands. Funny how we see the differences now, instead of noticing the similarities. Apparently, the more we know, the less we see, unlike those who we claim to be unworthy of being called equals to us, whom have a better perspective of things. Think it this way: the bigger the chunk, the smaller your apple is when you eat it.
Turned sails and got back to my spot, just to notice the bus arriving. Good timing. Less than 15 minutes lost. Good enough. Mounted the old faithful and buckled up for the routine urban surf - sway, tumble, lean and push oneself around, just to maintain a steady body posture as the vehicle glides through both craters and smooth tracks toward its destinations. Meh... Suddenly, a jolt in my left front jeans pocket. I ponder on the meaning of it, try to answer, rephrase, reduce, think again, then finally issue a reply. Bad feedback is way better than no feedback, as long as it's crystal clear. Or close to it.
Can't help but nurture this shy piece of hope... what can I do? I'm nothing but a flawed individual. I say goodbye to my noble metal steed and carry on, by foot, to the place where one finally sees what lays before him/her. The metal skeleton next to the street crossing area is just about good enough to lean against, as I wait for the light to turn green. As I gaze around me, my sight - if the stream of photons coming from another object, reflecting environmental light towards me could be considered consistent enough to be called "mine" - is captured by the couple of tachyon vortexes some person decided to trap, steal, encase within a pair of empty crystal marbles and then display them with a tiny "iris" tag stitched to them. Walking by her, I remember having been here before. Yeah... on a Saturday. And there were some snacks involved, although I only had an apple and some chocolate, before the warm rays of the shy spring sun. *gulp* *sigh*
Take a deep breath. Spring. Yes. I wonder how sweet would it be like if only... and... maybe just a bit... Argh... Daydreams... too sweet to let go, too false to be called dreams. You're not awake, nor are you asleep. F~ing quantum physics. Keep walking... The modern fortune teller only unveils her store on the 12th. So I'm stuck with these vision layers for a while longer. At least I didn't go there tomorrow, for nothing.
I wish all around me would let their will be seen by others... nonetheless, their will lies dormant beneath thick walls made of negations and restrictions. I'll show my will... I'll let other see I want to want to make a change for the better, whatever the odds. The nifty side of odds... :-) No matter how tiny they might be, they stack up. So, a couple has more than double their individual chances. Love is synergy. I think.
Good luck and good hunting!
Cherry blossom; exercise; sun; smile; singing; grin; hug; black; cross; wait; think; wonder; attempt; return; mount; sway; jolt; ponder; answer; hope; descend; walk; expect; cross to the other side; gaze; lean; remember; gulp; smell; daydream; step; hope.
Came across this short-hair-cut guy, wearing a green t-shirt, having "Sex without love is just exercise" across his chest. Made me think a bit about it and, while I was walking with the scent of the cherry trees all around me, I walked down my path toward home. Thanks to the big smile and a hug from a cute person, I was able to actually notice a few birds singing amidst the cherry trees. Black, velvet-like coat. Cute :-)
Back on my path, the light was right so I crossed, backwards, looking after a bus. Waiting there, I've noticed a cab driver pushing by himself his cab. All alone. I thought I'd walk the 100m to him and give a hand, despite him being a gypsy or any other reason. I've wondered what if I'd miss the bus by doing so. I took a few steps toward him, when a couple of other gypsy teenagers parted from the armchair they were moving in a garbage bin and gave him a pair of helping hands. Funny how we see the differences now, instead of noticing the similarities. Apparently, the more we know, the less we see, unlike those who we claim to be unworthy of being called equals to us, whom have a better perspective of things. Think it this way: the bigger the chunk, the smaller your apple is when you eat it.
Turned sails and got back to my spot, just to notice the bus arriving. Good timing. Less than 15 minutes lost. Good enough. Mounted the old faithful and buckled up for the routine urban surf - sway, tumble, lean and push oneself around, just to maintain a steady body posture as the vehicle glides through both craters and smooth tracks toward its destinations. Meh... Suddenly, a jolt in my left front jeans pocket. I ponder on the meaning of it, try to answer, rephrase, reduce, think again, then finally issue a reply. Bad feedback is way better than no feedback, as long as it's crystal clear. Or close to it.
Can't help but nurture this shy piece of hope... what can I do? I'm nothing but a flawed individual. I say goodbye to my noble metal steed and carry on, by foot, to the place where one finally sees what lays before him/her. The metal skeleton next to the street crossing area is just about good enough to lean against, as I wait for the light to turn green. As I gaze around me, my sight - if the stream of photons coming from another object, reflecting environmental light towards me could be considered consistent enough to be called "mine" - is captured by the couple of tachyon vortexes some person decided to trap, steal, encase within a pair of empty crystal marbles and then display them with a tiny "iris" tag stitched to them. Walking by her, I remember having been here before. Yeah... on a Saturday. And there were some snacks involved, although I only had an apple and some chocolate, before the warm rays of the shy spring sun. *gulp* *sigh*
Take a deep breath. Spring. Yes. I wonder how sweet would it be like if only... and... maybe just a bit... Argh... Daydreams... too sweet to let go, too false to be called dreams. You're not awake, nor are you asleep. F~ing quantum physics. Keep walking... The modern fortune teller only unveils her store on the 12th. So I'm stuck with these vision layers for a while longer. At least I didn't go there tomorrow, for nothing.
I wish all around me would let their will be seen by others... nonetheless, their will lies dormant beneath thick walls made of negations and restrictions. I'll show my will... I'll let other see I want to want to make a change for the better, whatever the odds. The nifty side of odds... :-) No matter how tiny they might be, they stack up. So, a couple has more than double their individual chances. Love is synergy. I think.
Good luck and good hunting!
Friday, April 2, 2010
Shalys - part 2 - October 2009
Posted a long time ago... on a different blog.
"Te-ai intrebat vreodata cum de e atat de puternica o privire?
Cum de simti ca esti privit(a)? Ce iti spune tie asta? Privirea nu are o existenta fizica, nu are un corp, nu are substanta. Percepem lumina reflectata de mediul inconjurator si, in mod pur intamplator si de cei din jurul nostru. Doar atat, o serie de fotoni, o mana de fire de nisip luminos aruncata in fata noastra de un corp ceresc cvasi-etern pentru noi...
Si totusi, lasand la o parte mecanismele fizice, ce este privirea? Mergi pe strada si atentia iti este atrasa de un caracter zglobiu, care rade cristalin la masa unei terase, aflat la un suc cu o cunostinta... si, dupa ce i-ai analizat persoana pret de cateva clipe, te priveste direct si fara sovaiala.
Sunt in metrou, prada apatiei cotidiene... si privirile imi aterizeaza asupra unei persoane de pe banca din fata mea, care este absorbita de prima parte a noului capitol pe care l-a inceput in aceasta seara, dupa ce a terminat cu orele de serviciu... Si isi ridica ochii, fix in ochii mei. Si ceva arde...
Oare, intre cadrele pe care creierul nostru le proceseaza in fiecare clipa, sufletul nostru se intinde catre cealalta persoana si astfel ne dam de gol? Oare, inainte de a clipi, ochii nostri absord o farama din energia celuilalt si astfel el/ea simte ca este jefuit de propria persoana, aruncandu-ne imediat o privire ce pare a ne pedepsi pentru indrazneala noastra? Oare?..."
"Te-ai intrebat vreodata cum de e atat de puternica o privire?
Cum de simti ca esti privit(a)? Ce iti spune tie asta? Privirea nu are o existenta fizica, nu are un corp, nu are substanta. Percepem lumina reflectata de mediul inconjurator si, in mod pur intamplator si de cei din jurul nostru. Doar atat, o serie de fotoni, o mana de fire de nisip luminos aruncata in fata noastra de un corp ceresc cvasi-etern pentru noi...
Si totusi, lasand la o parte mecanismele fizice, ce este privirea? Mergi pe strada si atentia iti este atrasa de un caracter zglobiu, care rade cristalin la masa unei terase, aflat la un suc cu o cunostinta... si, dupa ce i-ai analizat persoana pret de cateva clipe, te priveste direct si fara sovaiala.
Sunt in metrou, prada apatiei cotidiene... si privirile imi aterizeaza asupra unei persoane de pe banca din fata mea, care este absorbita de prima parte a noului capitol pe care l-a inceput in aceasta seara, dupa ce a terminat cu orele de serviciu... Si isi ridica ochii, fix in ochii mei. Si ceva arde...
Oare, intre cadrele pe care creierul nostru le proceseaza in fiecare clipa, sufletul nostru se intinde catre cealalta persoana si astfel ne dam de gol? Oare, inainte de a clipi, ochii nostri absord o farama din energia celuilalt si astfel el/ea simte ca este jefuit de propria persoana, aruncandu-ne imediat o privire ce pare a ne pedepsi pentru indrazneala noastra? Oare?..."
Shalys - part 1 - September 2009
Posted a long time ago... on a different blog.
"Inca o zi se apropie de sfarsit... Obosit, pe drum spre casa... In metrou, aceleasi priviri opace... Aceiasi ochi sclipind in lumina rece, lipsiti insa de stralucire...
Intr-o statie, in vagon intra un cuplu... grabiti amandoi, ea parand apasata de un gand... Si el privea in gol... Sotia se aseaza si sesizez ca impreuna cu ei este si o fetita, de nu mai mult de 13 ani...
Lumina incepu imediat sa fie mai calda... 2 bobite de sidef scanteiau de langa sotie... 2 stelute de zapada, inconjurate de aripioarele unor fluturi...
Cat ai clipi, fetita inconjura tot vagonul dintr-o privire si se opri asupra mea... Zambi strengareste si un zambet se instala confortabil, fara sa-mi dau seama, si pe buzele mele...
Puteam fi in alt vagon... Fetita putea sta pe alta banca... Am fi putut amandoi sa luam trenuri diferite... In aceasta mare de alternative, sansele de a ne intalni erau doar niste stropi...
Stropi de fericire..."
"Inca o zi se apropie de sfarsit... Obosit, pe drum spre casa... In metrou, aceleasi priviri opace... Aceiasi ochi sclipind in lumina rece, lipsiti insa de stralucire...
Intr-o statie, in vagon intra un cuplu... grabiti amandoi, ea parand apasata de un gand... Si el privea in gol... Sotia se aseaza si sesizez ca impreuna cu ei este si o fetita, de nu mai mult de 13 ani...
Lumina incepu imediat sa fie mai calda... 2 bobite de sidef scanteiau de langa sotie... 2 stelute de zapada, inconjurate de aripioarele unor fluturi...
Cat ai clipi, fetita inconjura tot vagonul dintr-o privire si se opri asupra mea... Zambi strengareste si un zambet se instala confortabil, fara sa-mi dau seama, si pe buzele mele...
Puteam fi in alt vagon... Fetita putea sta pe alta banca... Am fi putut amandoi sa luam trenuri diferite... In aceasta mare de alternative, sansele de a ne intalni erau doar niste stropi...
Stropi de fericire..."
Saturday, March 27, 2010
It's Friday, it's Friday!!!
26th of March, 2010
-
6:25 - Shock. The usual jolt-to-wake sort of morning. Not due to all the alarms the 2 phones let loose on the desk. Quick scouting around... "What's this? Darn! On the couch again..."
My arm aches. There's this reddish embedded strip, aching like a cold dull iron bar. That strip from the couch, yeah.
Grab the phone, the black one. Check the time: "Almost 6:30... I'll take a shower, then head for work, yeah."
Face-flat on the couch again.
7:08 - Phone call. Mom.
M.: Mornin'!
I: Hey! /growl
M.: Are you up?
I: Yeah, sure, slept on the couch... again... I've got that strip from the couch stabbing my face all the night...
M.: Ohhww...
I: Gonna take a shower and head for work.
M.: Talk to you later then?
I: Yeah, sure, later!
M.: Bye!
I: Bye /gasp
/snooze
8:20 - Second jolt-to-wake. Check phone. Shock. Get up. Stumble into the right doorway wall. Bathroom. Wash face. Contemplate on the ridge crossing my right cheek. "Awesome... not. Ouch"
Wrap up the laptop. Charger. Everything. Forget about the plates and leftovers from dinner. Later. Swap clothes. Done. "Get the stuff from the coat into my shirt..."
Exit the room, lock the door, fast pace toward the elevator.
Stop. Bus subscription. Crap. "I'm turning in my path... good luck, right?"
Return, snap the keys inside the socket, unlock, open wide (the door), loot my coat for the second time (random loot is best! <3 ), exit, lock the door. Fast pace toward the elevator.
Grab one, press P. Wait - snap the ear buds inside my radio dish pair. Exit the building, 5 steps toward the bus station.
Stop. Windy. Lean against a tiny, a bit more sheltered kiosk, pull out "Îndumnezeirea maidanului" from my back pack. Browse, scanning for the last known part. "42? nah, those were some interesting potential quotes... 51.. ah, there it is!"
Read. Wait. 66. Read. 85. Wait. Old men squabble. Read. 133. "Bingo!"
Jump inside, validate my subscription. Pick a chair. Settle. Resume reading. Traffic. Read.
8:39 - "Buzeşti. My keys... back pockets? nah... front? nah... chest? nah... not in the backpack..."
"Lost them? Would have heard... Crap... locked them inside my place? Crap!"
"The second set is also inside... erm... call the agent... nah, the advocate... Tear the door down? I can't pick that lock open... I'm no rogue."
"It will be OK, I'll call either of them around 12, it's too early now."
"What if I left them in the socket???" Thinks, thinks...
"Would you please allow me to get out from here?" Nice blond lady, damn her ear buds, I got to wave close to her view scope so she can react...
Press the Stop on Demand button. No reaction. Traffic jam. "F~k you, let me exit..."
More people asking for it. Doors opened. Fast pace.
8:51 - "Around... 9:10 I'll be there... damn... I'll be late..."
Fast pace. Gasp... walk... walk... walk... "The building access card... on the same chain with they keys! Grr..." Wish for a lucky instant when I get there...
9:09 - Building. Someone opens the door and I enter. Elevator. Press 4. Screw the noise. Wait.
Exit. Gasp. Run. Keys in the socket. Unlock, search for potential intruders. None.
Exit. Elevator. Descend. Exit. Fast pace. Sex shop, turn right. Mini market, enter.
"Hmm... Twix, cake bar x2, Burn..."
Merchant: The 9RON or the 7RON one?
Me: The 9RON one.
"I hope it's Burn, not RedBull..."
Turn, get the Burn. Oops, the 485ml one? "Erm... why the f~k not?"
Load backpack, exit, look for a cab. Found. Ask. Agree.
9:35 - Job. "Great... overtimed yesterday for this?"
-----------------------------------------
Thanks to a cute friend of mine, I've had a nice time from 7PM to 10PM.
Nifty day today... Havoc, code, shopping for the whole company, set cables clean, more code, debug web portals, send emails, hope for the best.
This blog ain't gonna end up as a journal, no matter the start. This is more like a heads up for any of you reading it, just to state that this is gonna get hectic and a pain to read, probably.
Good luck and good hunting!
-
6:25 - Shock. The usual jolt-to-wake sort of morning. Not due to all the alarms the 2 phones let loose on the desk. Quick scouting around... "What's this? Darn! On the couch again..."
My arm aches. There's this reddish embedded strip, aching like a cold dull iron bar. That strip from the couch, yeah.
Grab the phone, the black one. Check the time: "Almost 6:30... I'll take a shower, then head for work, yeah."
Face-flat on the couch again.
7:08 - Phone call. Mom.
M.: Mornin'!
I: Hey! /growl
M.: Are you up?
I: Yeah, sure, slept on the couch... again... I've got that strip from the couch stabbing my face all the night...
M.: Ohhww...
I: Gonna take a shower and head for work.
M.: Talk to you later then?
I: Yeah, sure, later!
M.: Bye!
I: Bye /gasp
/snooze
8:20 - Second jolt-to-wake. Check phone. Shock. Get up. Stumble into the right doorway wall. Bathroom. Wash face. Contemplate on the ridge crossing my right cheek. "Awesome... not. Ouch"
Wrap up the laptop. Charger. Everything. Forget about the plates and leftovers from dinner. Later. Swap clothes. Done. "Get the stuff from the coat into my shirt..."
Exit the room, lock the door, fast pace toward the elevator.
Stop. Bus subscription. Crap. "I'm turning in my path... good luck, right?"
Return, snap the keys inside the socket, unlock, open wide (the door), loot my coat for the second time (random loot is best! <3 ), exit, lock the door. Fast pace toward the elevator.
Grab one, press P. Wait - snap the ear buds inside my radio dish pair. Exit the building, 5 steps toward the bus station.
Stop. Windy. Lean against a tiny, a bit more sheltered kiosk, pull out "Îndumnezeirea maidanului" from my back pack. Browse, scanning for the last known part. "42? nah, those were some interesting potential quotes... 51.. ah, there it is!"
Read. Wait. 66. Read. 85. Wait. Old men squabble. Read. 133. "Bingo!"
Jump inside, validate my subscription. Pick a chair. Settle. Resume reading. Traffic. Read.
8:39 - "Buzeşti. My keys... back pockets? nah... front? nah... chest? nah... not in the backpack..."
"Lost them? Would have heard... Crap... locked them inside my place? Crap!"
"The second set is also inside... erm... call the agent... nah, the advocate... Tear the door down? I can't pick that lock open... I'm no rogue."
"It will be OK, I'll call either of them around 12, it's too early now."
"What if I left them in the socket???" Thinks, thinks...
"Would you please allow me to get out from here?" Nice blond lady, damn her ear buds, I got to wave close to her view scope so she can react...
Press the Stop on Demand button. No reaction. Traffic jam. "F~k you, let me exit..."
More people asking for it. Doors opened. Fast pace.
8:51 - "Around... 9:10 I'll be there... damn... I'll be late..."
Fast pace. Gasp... walk... walk... walk... "The building access card... on the same chain with they keys! Grr..." Wish for a lucky instant when I get there...
9:09 - Building. Someone opens the door and I enter. Elevator. Press 4. Screw the noise. Wait.
Exit. Gasp. Run. Keys in the socket. Unlock, search for potential intruders. None.
Exit. Elevator. Descend. Exit. Fast pace. Sex shop, turn right. Mini market, enter.
"Hmm... Twix, cake bar x2, Burn..."
Merchant: The 9RON or the 7RON one?
Me: The 9RON one.
"I hope it's Burn, not RedBull..."
Turn, get the Burn. Oops, the 485ml one? "Erm... why the f~k not?"
Load backpack, exit, look for a cab. Found. Ask. Agree.
9:35 - Job. "Great... overtimed yesterday for this?"
-----------------------------------------
Thanks to a cute friend of mine, I've had a nice time from 7PM to 10PM.
Nifty day today... Havoc, code, shopping for the whole company, set cables clean, more code, debug web portals, send emails, hope for the best.
This blog ain't gonna end up as a journal, no matter the start. This is more like a heads up for any of you reading it, just to state that this is gonna get hectic and a pain to read, probably.
Good luck and good hunting!
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